we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
