I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
