This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
