youre lurking in front of me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
