Pants 0. Shit 1.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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