very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
