I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
