Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
