He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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