he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
