Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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