i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
