Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
