Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
