I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
