He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
