Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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