it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
