K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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