It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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