called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
