I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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