Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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