After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
