check it out our google latitudes are spooning
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
