I feel like I'm in dance class right now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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