you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
