Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
