theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
