CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
