Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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