his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
