Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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