saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
