How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
