i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
