so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
