your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
