I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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