whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
