All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
