maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
