Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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