I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
