we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
