its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
did i walk over a car last night?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
