My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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