Nicole vs. Life
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
