I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
