You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
