She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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