as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
