I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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